Staying Fit (daw)

We usually spend most of our free time going jogging every afternoon. Mga twice a month ahaha! Sige, thrice na :"> We go jogging everytime na wala kaming magawa, masabi lang na "productive" ang araw, after naman nun lalamon sa Mcdo. Haha! 

Fav jogging place is Heavenly Peace, yeah, peace talaga pag nandun, medyo may pawisan na nangyari lang sa car (init eh) HAHA! but my fav was when we went jogging in his friend's house and with Charlie baby! I was super happy that time, dream namin mag jogging with Charlie eh, kaso natupad nung wala nang K&M :( atleast natupad! One of the most memorable ytun! Super cute ni Charlie, nagjojogging din siya laughtrip kasi dinadala niya tali niya ayaw magpahawak haha!

After jogging, we spend time muna sa car, papahangin lang saglit kwentuhan. Ang saya lang stress free din! First time to jog with my love love <3 

Ang baboy ko! tapos ikaw kamukha mo jan si Z. Haha! Kawawa pa shoes ko jan :(

Jogging with Paul & Errold. Ang saya lang kahit iniiwan mo ko love love :(

Kahit wala namang nangyari sa jogging natin, i didn't even get thin, atleast, another memory yun. And i'm happy to spend it with you, my love. lalong mas happy with Charlie kasi may comedy hahaha! Hoping to have more jogging moments with my love! 

REMINISCING

I miss everything about us.. what happened to us? K&M didn't make their way until the end :(  but i hope that God will still give us a chance. I hope this is just a one big time challenge. Sabi nga nila diba, pag 2 years, laging may break up. Sana ganito lang din samin :(

In the past 23 months, we had lots of memories built together. Outings, hang outs, swimming, sleepovers. Our favorite hang out place is Starbucks located in Evia and now, Coffee Bean in All Home. We love coffee shops and milk tea places :) <3 We usually spend most of our time chilling in a coffee shop and surfing the net (walang usap usap) ayun, masaya na kami sa ganun. Stress free diba? Sometimes, inaabot pa kami ng 1am sa Starbucks kahit puro water na lang kami. I remember one time, Kenji ordered a hot drink then after that, frappe nanaman haha sobrang ewan lang. Hayy, nakakamiss :( 

We're so cute!! Feeling nasa Baguio lang hehe :) 

Ito oh, ang pogi pogi ng love love ko! Kinis ohh naks! Haha!  *gigil*

I also miss our late night calls. 'Dun talaga kami consistent. We never missed a day without talking to each othere before going to sleep tipong magpapaload pa ng midnight para lang makausap ang love love :"> Well, sometimes we don't talk because one of us is tired na and so sleepy but that's once in a blue moon hehe. (oo alam kong jeje sayo ang "hehe") I alays get pissed whenever nagaantay ako kay Kenji kasi ang tagal tagal maghilamos daig pa babae kung magpa beauty! Ayun, and morning calls din pala. "Good morning, Kenji love!" 

BREAKFAST WITH KENJI LOVE!! Ahhhh, i so missed this! We love having brekafast before we go to school. Kahit late na, basta makapag Mcdo <3 Remember the 3 pcs pancake with hashbrown and sausage? UMAAAAAY! HAHAHA! Mcdominic is our first fav place eh. Lagi din akong may Iced Mocha everyday <3

My boyfriend is a KPOP! EW! Hahaha Alam ko you'll be going to Bulacan that time eh. </3 

Stop na muna. Next blog na yung iba kasi baka maiyak nanaman ako haha! I've got lot of stories to tell pa. <3 <3 <3 I LOVE YOU KENJI!!! <3

KENJI LOVE LOVE <3

Miserable at It's Finest

The last months of this year is very heart breaking, I never thought I would feel this kind of depression. I am not used to this and I hate this happening with the person i love the most. Everything was fine and smooth until someone made a very bad mistake, and that was me. Yes, it's me and I'm the one who blame with all these mixed emotions that I'm feeling.

Starting September, everything with me and Kenji started breaking. I cannot fathom why everything went wrong to us. We were so happy back then, everything was perfect until I started feeling "tampo" everytime and i don't know if it's right or wrong. I don't know i just miss being with my love every single day. We were so busy. I'm at work, he's at school. After my work, i go home and after his school, he'll hang out with friends. We never had our time alone and I guess that was the reason I felt so alone and sad. I am so weak. I should've let myself feel that kind of toxication. I was just really down ewan ko ba sobrang lungkot ko lang talaga 'nun miss ko lang siya eh. Ang tanga ko ayan nawala si Kenji :(

Then, another man came in the middle of the situation, and we became friends and I was confident that we will just be friends and nothing more than that. Unfortunately, we started talking everyday and what I thought is "Ay, ang saya parang may kuya na ako sa office pwede masbaihan ng problem pareho pa sila ni Kenji ng profession" but it was another way around. I don't know what happened to my stupid heart why I felt attached to this person as well as him. I tried not talking to him sabi ko pa nga "Love ko si kenji ayoko ayoko" but when I noticed that we were fighting frequently, I was really hurt. I was hurt and I've got no one to talk to except that guy. That's when the heart breaking happenings started. When we started talking and he started loving me and I also felt a little bit of that. </3 Hay, sobrang sisi.


I don't want to write more about this. All i know is that, I miss Kenji. I miss him so much and I am very very sorry because I was not strong enough to fight for our relationship. (naiiyak ako) I want everything to be back but I don;t want to go back if it's not whole-heartedly and if there's still someone in my heart also.

 I love you, Kenji. I love you so much. I know you don't believe that anymore but please believe me when I say that you're my life, my other half. I want everything that's happening to me, i want it to be with you and only you. I know this is not our year, I hope we'll still have a chance to be together again, not now, but maybe soon! I understand if you will be in love with someone else and I admit that i will be very hurt and jealous. Wala e, tanga ko eh hinayaan ko sarili ko magkagusto sa iba.

Hayy, i'll be writing everything here. If this is the only way to talk to kenji, i will. I will update everything and express my love to him :) 

I LOVE YOU KENJI! I MISS YOU! <3 

KENJI LOVE LOVE <3 

I Know I'm Flawed, But I'm Trying To Be Better For You

Would it be too much of me to ask for you to stay?

I know it gets rough sometimes; I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not always the most lovable person. I have moments in which I get too unreasonable, too childish. I’ve been with you long enough to know what ticks you off and I’m sorry if I hold this knowledge against you.

I’m aware that you could list down all my faults and flaws in a single breath if someone asked you to. Sometimes, i think that you could even see them better than I could.

Now I’m not trying to put myself in bad light here, just hear me out on this one, okay?

You told me once that I am selfish beyond reason. I think about myself first, narcissistic enough to believe that I am always right. And how many times have I been a brat to you? Making you do things you don’t want to do. Even my impatience brings all sorts of drama — making us fight over such trivial things over and over again. All these are wrong and I’m wrong — please don’t ever tire.

You and I both know that there are thousands more, but if I count all these errors of mine, I might actually persuade you to just walk out the door and never glance back. But in all honesty, I’m trying my best every day to make you do otherwise.

See, I understand that there’s not much I can offer. That out of a hundred, I’m probably the worst option to choose. But I want you to grasp the thought that when I look at you, I see all the good things. Can you comprehend how hard it is to love something greater than yourself?

The best thing that I could ever give to you is a promise to try to be a better version of myself — always hoping that that would be enough.

And so, with all these nonsensical words, I would like to ask you again, would it be too much of me to ask you to stay? But no, not just for today or for the year but for this lifetime and all the other reincarnations to come.

It is a dream of mine to always wake up next to you.

Cc: Ann Milan, Thought Catalog

Mi Amor 016

I thought I’d be a little different by greeting him on my blog instead of the usual Facebook wall post. 

Before the year ends, I just want to share what happened during the last days of the year. The very special moment of the year started this December 16th. My daily routine in life kinda changed when I met this guy. A half Japanese guy who made my "bitter" thoughts about loving someone and to be loved back disappear. Of all the boys who entered my life, I am very sure that he is the ONLY one who made me feel this special. Realtalk. If only I could erase the memories that I had with those dumbass guys and start everything with him and If only I knew him earlier, I think we are still together until now :""> (cheezy) 

No words can't explain how lucky I am to have him. Even if i'm not that "sweet girlfriend" type, he still continues to love me even more and I feel so guilty sometimes :( The effort that his doing is very very.... uhmm I can't explain It just makes me feel happy and super special. The bondings that we had and WE WILL have will always be memorable to me. I really appreciate all those efforts (kahit 'di halata)

I am very thankful for everything. It's hard to put feelings into words but I hope you know I love you and think about you everyday. You do something to me that no one ever has, you've loved me for me. 

Sorry I wasn't there to celebrate New Year with you :( See you on the 2nd! (hoepfully) Happy New Year! I love you so much <3 <3 <3 Hoping to spend more years with you :)))